For but a moment, only for a second, there is darkness. An eternal black. Neither hot nor cold. Weightless. Silent. A void. I cannot tell if I am asleep or dead. But for all there is not, there is one thing. Overwhelming in the dark, suffocating in it, is the utter fucking dread. Of what or whom, I do not know. A presence surrounds me in the nothingness. Something gigantic, but solitary. The fear intensifies. I feel small, insignificant, like a bug. My tiny heart beats in my tiny chest, a vigorous and rapid rhythm. The weight comes then, immense and crushing. The half giant’s laughter harmonizes with the melody of my broken bones.
Light pours into the cabin of the carriage through the open door. The brightness is too much for my waking eyes; I shield them from the sting with my arm. Across from me, lying on the cushion with a permanent smile and glossy eyes, is Borso. The dark marbles, in contrast to the pleasant look on his little face, panic with an endless silent scream. The shrieking hits my ears then, the pure terror reverberating the high tone within my skull. It cuts off.
The sunlight swallows me whole as I land on the dirt of the road. Torvald in his regular spot is slumped over to the side, eyes closed but breathing. The humongous horse rests on the ground, a crimson glistening amongst the chestnut on its right side. Bushes rustle in the forest to the south. Lavender reveals herself in a vicious anger. My free hand reaches out, palm facing the trees.
“Undva delo iche quercho,” the words come low and animalistic.
The simple spell only takes a single utterance, my eyes drawn to the space between two of the tall oaks. I set off in a sprint, focused with deadly aim on where my guided instincts lead me. The surrounding greenery blurs with my haste. Six figures come into view far ahead. They break through the sea of bark and foliage, entering a clearing. At the opposite edge, they slow to a stop. They turn and face me as I breach the edge. From left to right stand a male elf, four human men, and a lone bearded dwarf. The man nearest the elf carries something bundled in a white blanket. They all watch me from one hundred yards.
The elf, his elegant silvery blond hair tied into a tight knot like the half-giant’s, says something to his neighbor. I can’t make out the words from my distance, nor can I read the elf’s thin lips. The man, with slicked back hair and a wicked grin, turns and disappears into the words. Blood boils in my veins as the echoes of her horror fill in my mind. The elf’s mouth moves again while his eyes remain on me. A carefree hand motions to me. Twins of dark skin, their black hair and beards both short, advance with puny iron swords drawn. Determination pinches their faces into identical scowls.
My vocal cords rattle harsh and deafening. My eyes widen, crazed and violent, as I charge. The left twin slows in his steps, that look of grit loosening into a thinly veiled fear. The other, however, presses on undaunted. We meet in the middle of the clearing. The poor fool’s swordarm does not get the chance to strike. Lavender plunges into his chest, piercing the leather of his vest on his back. He sucks in a half-breath, unable to keep it for long. He chokes on it as a sturdy kick releases him from Lavender’s embrace. Warm droplets of sanguine catch on my face.
The twin, face full of that fantastic fucking fear, watches his brother gasp for air that does not come. In a sweet moment of regained courage, he gives his own battlecry. I oblige and continue forward. His sword rises high and comes down for me. My left hand leaves Lavender for a moment, deflecting my foe’s blade with the steel of my armguard. My foot finds his delicates in a powerful strike. He doubles over, a stream of vomit spewing from his maw. My hand returns to my lady. She separates his head from his shoulders in an easy slice.
Furious blue eyes focus on the elf as his mouth moves again. He speaks low, the coward. The final man comes to me, thirty yards from his leader. Bigger than the others, he matches me in height and brawn. Sun-kissed skin and hair the color of the sun, I could have been him in another life. We could have been brothers. Yet we stand in a clearing, enemies. His sword smashes against my breastplate, knocking me back a step. For all his strength, he has poor form; he allows his sword to drop to his side as a proud, unearned sense of victory glints in eyes. Lavender tickles his left knee, meeting the other on its playful journey. He loses his footing and crumbles to the ground. He soaks the grass in a terrible red as he reaches fruitlessly for his severed shins. Part of me wants to end his suffering, be merciful to the man I could have been. I press on.
“Get him, you short fuck!” the elf screams at his last cohort, an angry finger pointing in my direction. The brunette beard shakes as he raises gloved hands in surrender.
“I ain’t got no deathwish,” the dwarf says.
The elf groans, frustrated, and reveals a crossbow from his back. He loads a bolt into the groove. Lavender rises, ready to cut the narrow thing in half. The bolt fires to the side, nestling itself in the dwarf’s temple. The wise one’s face grows vacant before thudding to the ground.
Ten yards separate the elf and me. With all my might, I send Lavender flying, tip over pommel, toward the elf. She finds a home in his shoulder, pinning him to a tree trunk. The crossbow drops. A desperate, delicious fear lights up his face, replacing the confident bravado. He pulls on Lavender’s hilt to free himself to no avail.
My pace slows as I draw near, but the ferocious vitriol remains. A fatigue fades into my muscles, my breath heavy and sweat mixing with the strangers’ blood. Yet I press on. He realizes the futility of his attempts to dislodge himself once I arrive, but one hand remains loose on the hilt. My fist sends his head back, chipping away at some of the bark. My gauntlets leave deep, glorious cuts in his sallow skin with every righteous strike.
“Where is he taking her?” I roar into his broken and bleeding face.
It takes a moment for the answer to come. A couple of teeth escape as he expels a mouthful of blood. But in his anguish, he releases a solitary word: home. There is honesty in his simple answer. Why lie? He knows what will happen. This cannot and will not end well for him. But to what end? Could he escape with only wounds?
“There’s a road on the other side of this stretch of forest,” the elf offers. “We have a horse waiting there. You might be able to catch him before he gets to it. Please, just let me live.
The flames of ire grow higher and hotter. Lavender pulls free from the trunk and his flesh. A pitiful, bloody word of thanks falls out of his mouth. Lavender dives into his crown and retreats through the mess of what remains of his face.
The clearing’s silence is overbearing, almost maddening. The legless one had even ceased his wailing. My guess is that he ran out of blood not long after I abandoned him. Taking in deep pulls of air, I center myself. My hand reaches for the woods again, and I feel the faint pull of where I must go.
“Dondib celoceit comet pomio correoden dut entinei kanici,” I whisper, eyes closed and my hand hovering over my heart. The prayer comes thrice, a strength returning to my body. That familiar warmth envelops me, and soon I can feel the All-Mother’s power coursing through me.
My legs carry me faster than before as I hunt down my last enemy. Dodging thick, old trees, I look for the bastard. A path of broken flowers and various growth guides me on his trek through the brush. A figure appears on the path ahead of me. Reaching out to a low-hanging branch, I break off a broad bit of wood. Hefty, nearly a foot in length, I hurl it at the man. It collides with his head, sending him to the ground. He drops the bundle in his arms, the white blanket and its contents cascading into a cluster of flowers. Like a wild predator, I descend upon him, landing on his back. A hand reaches out to a loose dagger lying amongst yellow flowers, but its desire waits just beyond his reach.
The bundle does not move. My eyes go to the dagger once more, my own hand reaching out to it. It seems too light in my hand, too delicate. Then again, I’ve grown accustomed to Lavender’s weight after so many years. A simple weapon, yet effective. A prime choice for a sidearm, or as a main for those well versed in the art of shadows. Like Kym. She would test this blade’s sharpness on the man’s neck, let it glide across his throat. My curiosity hovers over that method for a moment, but it would be too quick of a death for a kidnapper. No, he has deserved worse. The tip of the metal traces his spine, only the cloth of his white shirt protecting his skin. Another thought occurs.
“Please, don’t hurt me,” he begs, his voice cracking. “We were just doing our job!”
Skrolba’s warmth disappears. The lethargy settles back in. Spots of scarlet spread from his supple skin. I don’t keep track of how many times the dagger sinks into his back and comes out again. After a while, he is still and silent. The blade remains in its final burial.
Crawling to the bundle, my body aches. Yet I take the bundle into my own arms, removing the white blanket covering her face. She sleeps, unharmed and unaware. Such perfect beauty, such pure innocence, such heartwarming peace. Holding her close to me, we venture back to the road. She remains in her dreams. Thank the All-Mother. No need for her to see any of my carnage.
The carriage hasn’t moved. The horse still rests on the ground, its legs tucked underneath its body. Torvald remains in his spot, leaning to his left. If it weren’t for the pink in his skin, I would worry he had slipped into the hands of Death. The light snoring helps confirm he is still alive as well. I return Evalina to the soft seat, tucking Borso into her blanket. Her arms wrap around him tight. I close the door, palms on either side as the carriage holds me up. My muscles are engulfed in flames. My lungs scream as I struggle to breathe. Stars dance in my eyes, dazzling and dizzying. My legs stay stable, for now, as I push away.
Slow steps lead me back to our equine friend. Kneeling in front of its wound, it appears to not be too deep of a laceration. Likely just an attempt to stop the beast, not kill it. Interesting. Back in the day, we found it better to leave our targets stranded. Maybe banditry has changed since I left that industry. Or, perhaps the goblin innkeeper in Red Bear had been truthful; these bastards were not mere bandits. And that’s to say those we crossed at the banks of the Red Bear River were the same who had gotten their grimy hands on the princess. If word has gotten out about my little companion, then what is stopping the world of lowlifes and criminals from trying to cash in on a possible ransom?
Well, other than me, of course.
“Heirina veriten,” the spell comes soft. The horse fusses when my hands come near the gash, but settles down. I say it a few more times, the nasty cut shrinking with each syllable. The horse’s flesh closes up, becomes whole once more. It gives a whinny of approval and stands up.
Winter takes up residence in my veins. The sudden rush of cold knocks out what little breath I had left in me. Resting back on my heels, the tiredness crescendos. There is not much energy left in me. My eyelids tease each other, coming close but never touching. I could fall asleep here, freeze here. They would find my body millenia later, perfectly preserved thanks to the intense tundra conditions inside of me. My arms grow heavy and hang useless in my lap. My armor weighs me down, conspiring with gravity to drag me to the dirt and leave me there. I stay on my knees, somehow, but lying down seems like a damn good idea.
“Sir Rokkoh?” comes the boy’s voice, weak and confused. “Are you okay?”
Deep within the snow, a spark ignites. It flickers into flame, melting the surrounding coldness. I stand, though my legs are uncertain how long they can keep me up. My arms delve into my well of strength, reaching deep for just a drop. Torvald gives me a sleepy look as he sits up, his eyes widening at my grisly visage.
“Oh my…” he gasps.
Fingers grasp the cloth of his blue shirt in a tight fist. A stiff tug pulls him to the ground with a hard slam. His thin frame squirms underneath me as I straddle him. On his back, and with my grip still on him, he looks up to me in bewilderment. It would otherwise slow my hand, cool the fury, but not this day.
“What happened, boy?” I shout, jerking him up so the words can crash on his skin. “Did you fall asleep? Did you get distracted by something shiny? What the fuck happened?”
The fear in his eyes brings me no joy, no pleasure. He is no foe, just a fool. If anything, I worry that he’ll soil himself again. I saw no river on my pursuit. Perhaps there is one on the other side of the road. For his sake, I hope so.
“I don’t know what happened,” he whimpers, tears in his reddening eyes. “I swear, Sir! We had just passed into Walteria when a madman sprung from the trees and blocked the road. He was huge! Not like that half giant, more like you, but with hair. Then a whole gang of them ambushed us. One of them attacked the horse! I tried calling out for you, but you didn’t come. Then an elf put me to sleep. I don’t know what happened after that. I only just now woke up. Please believe me, Sir Rokkoh! I swear on my life!”
Narrow eyes study him for a long moment, finding no trace of a lie in his restrained weeping. What good would it do to lie anyway? I release the boy and get to my feet, making my way back to the carriage. His tears fall as he sits up; wipes them away so I won’t see him cry. That brief rush of adrenaline leaves me, and my head spins. My hand caresses the wood of the carriage. I pause in my steps, my back turned to him. My palm goes flat against the carriage, the only thing holding me up as another wave of debilitating weariness hits me.
“Get us to Lower Yellowberry,” I growl, a thread of a threat lingering in my voice. My breath is shallow, and beads of sweat form on my brow. But he can’t see me like this. He can’t see how weak I am. That respect he holds for me would dissolve if he knew what it truly took to wield a fraction of divine power. Thank the gods he only aspires for knighthood. The boy wouldn’t be able to handle being part of the Order.
I climb into the carriage, shut the door behind me, and sleep once we start moving again.
The garden is vacant. The animals are silent. Even the fish hide from me. I remove my bloodstained armor and kneel naked beside the brook. The surface is still, frozen yet not cold. My hands reach down into the water, submerging for a moment to collect water in my cupped fingers and then resurfacing. The clear liquid turns red as my hand rises. Thick and smelling of old coins, the blood drips from my skin and taints the water below. The crimson creeps up my arms, tendrils snaking up my skin and staining it scarlet. It spreads to my shoulders, my chest, my stomach. Every new place it grows becomes warm, almost to a sickly degree. My heart pounds as I get to my feet, and a panic sets in. Soon the red covers me whole, head to toe garnets and cherries.
“Your Mother is displeased,” a voice echoes through the static trees. Neither masculine nor feminine, young nor old, upset nor calm. The sky grows dark, a storm in the evening.
“I know,” I respond, looking around for the source. “They took the girl.”
“Foolish boy,” the voice teases. “Are you the only one allowed to deliver her home?”
“The Queen tasked me to do so,” I rebut. Endless trees stare at me from behind, but I cannot see anyone hiding within them. “It was my duty.”
“A queen, yes, but not the girl’s queen. Does she have no say in who returns her daughter? Do you wield more authority than her men?”
I go quiet for a long moment. My eyes stop searching for the one who speaks to me. Instead, they find the grass. Green, despite my wet bitter cardinal. Shame takes hold of me; what I had done was far from righteous, disgustingly barbaric. I knew it in the moment, but I was too focused on fury to question my own actions.
“I was given specific orders,” I offer, small and meek. “I was to bring her to a vicar. They were no clergymen.”
“Ah,” the voice chuckles. “You know all, do you?”
“No, I do not proclaim such,” I say, covering my manhood from the leering ashes, elms, and willows.
“Do you regret these actions?” the voice asks after a long silence.
“I do not regret wishing to protect the child,” I answer, “but I do regret my rage. I regret my hasty violence. I’m sorry.”
The sky lightens, turning back to that perfect blue. Birds chirp in the trees. A fuzzy bee buzzes past my ear on its way to the next flower. The brook babbles once more. When I turn to face its sound, she is there. Gazing into the waters, resting on her knees, her uncovered skin soaking in the sweet sun, the All-Mother returns. She takes the form of the dwarf, her auburn hair braided down her back. I kneel beside her, eyes keeping away from her beauty. She produces a pitcher from underneath the pure and pristine water. Overflowing, the excess trickles down the side of the round porcelain thing. She brings it close to her, admiring it for a moment, and then raising it over my head.
“You are forgiven, my child,” she coos in my head. As she pours the water over me, washing away the blood, relief and gratitude bring me to tears. She comforts me once I am clean, divine warmth radiating from the arms she wraps around me. A calm overcomes me as the last of the red vanishes. She places a soft kiss on my stubbly cheek, and bids me to awaken. I obey.