010 – My first event!

So, I did a thing. A month ago, my friend Jody reached out to me. He runs a really awesome shop called Clark’s Collectible & Comics up in Plano, IL. If you’re ever in the area or are looking for a little road trip, I highly recommend stopping by. He’s got a ton of cool stuff! On August 19th, he’s hosting 2023 Smallville Comic-Con, a fun sidewalk sale featuring tons of vendors (details below). I was invited to be one such vendor.

Just one little problem: I didn’t have anything physical to sell other than duplicate books from my own personal library. Thus, I set to the task of doing a crash course in how to format a book for printing. The first thing I needed to do was figure out what to print. I’ve had four Rokkoh stories finished for over a year now, so I thought I’d try that. I compiled the four stories into one document, played around with page and font sizes, margins, and cover art. (To be honest, I had already made cover art because I have a lot of fun doing them, as well as logos for fictional bands. Maybe I’ll post about the latter sometime.) After a few days of tweaking and fine-tuning, I was satisfied with what I had done. I placed an order for one copy just to see what the book would look like. After a little over a week, the first copy of The Rokkoh Adventures was in my mailbox. I underestimated how excited I would be to hold my own book in my hands. This process showed me why self-publishing is so popular amongst writers nowadays, and I’m strongly considering it for the future. Fast-forward to yesterday. Early on in the workday, I get an email saying my package had been delivered. I rushed home during my lunch break, and there it was. A box of 25 copies of The Rokkoh Adventures, ready and waiting to go home with readers.

Now, I want to be clear about something. This is not meant to be the final product. These are not first editions of The Rokkoh Adventures. These 25 (or 26, technically) copies are Uncorrected Proofs/Advanced Reader Copies. Until I decide to officially publish the book, these will be the only copies in existence. I plan to add more to the book at a later date (I came up with some ideas after the larger order was already placed and it was too late to cancel).

Attendees at the 2023 Smallville Comic-Con in Plano, IL will have the first chance to pick up a copy. I will be selling them for $10 apiece, along with some duplicate books from my personal library. Whatever remains after the 19th will then be available for purchase to everyone else. So, if you’ve got a free morning/afternoon in a couple weeks, feel free to come on up and support a bunch of awesome folks!

009 – About the Author

Lately, my mind has been gravitating towards things on the peripherals of the writing process. Sure, the actual writing process is the meat and bones of the beast, but there’s also cover art (I’ve been playing around with alternate ideas for Incinerate), formatting (page, margin, and font size options), and the fun little quip on the back of book that helps entice readers into checking out what you wrote. Along with these is something seen in the back of all books: the About the Author section. Recently, during a day filled with format experimentation, I decided to give writing a new About the Author a whirl. (You can see the current one here.) Check out the possible new one below! And hey, who knows, maybe you’ll see it in a book one day. 😉

Tyler Gohde is a cuddly teddy bear cursed by a mischievous god to live life as a human being. Born and raised in Central Illinois, he can often be found avoiding direct contact with the Sun by staying in the safety of his apartment. Along with writing, he likes to listen to angry music, make pacts with shadowy figures from the Underworld, and fall into pizza comas. He is the current owner and curator of the Heritage Grove Public Library, which despite its name is neither open to the public nor an officially licensed and regulated library.
If you would like to keep up to date with Tyler, you can find him on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and other social media platforms run by billionaire weirdos.
To read more of Tyler’s work, please visit tylergohde.com.

Canvas: A Short Story

Maybe I’m the only one, but I’ve been missing Rokkoh and his world lately. A few months ago, this character idea came to me as I was trying to fall asleep. I got through the first few paragraphs but hit a roadblock and then let this story sit for a little while. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to set it in Rokkoh’s world or in a more modern setting, like a darker corner of the world seen in Incinerate. Ultimately, I chose the former because I liked the idea of Rokkoh one day possibly coming across someone like our main character below. At one time, I even considered having Rokkoh feature in this story, but decided against it in favor of something a little more emotional. As with my short story The Secret Keeper, I may return to this character down the line, but for now this is where we will leave them. Enjoy!

The room falls quiet around us once the deed is done. Remnants of his thick, chewy flesh nestle themselves in the tiny crevices between our teeth. Sick, but sweet, our tongue laps over the bits to loosen them. Our stomach makes its yearning for every last piece known in the silence. The more we take of him, the quicker and easier our form will come. Still kneeling before his exposed self, we bend again. Our jaw expands, our teeth caressing the cooling and paling skin, until we find a suitable part. And like an animal in the wild, like a predator with its prey, we consume. Our teeth sever the flesh with little resistance, our greedy mandibles clasping down on a chunk of what could be mistaken for raw pork. His blood, or at least what is left of it, trickles down our throat with the viscera. A warmth lingers in the meat, bringing our mouth to life with its flavor. Like something electric, something feral, something taboo but too damn decadent to deny.

As chest gives way to bone, that warmth trickles through our veins. The memories come first. High and dark, its monsoon waves blot out the sun and crash upon our earth. A seat on the city’s High Council, its road paved with the blood of innocents and his lesser peers. Yonder days of battlefield cowardice, crouched and hidden wherever he could find safety. Countless nights spent with streetwalkers, many ending with his hands around their throats. Was this his plan for us tonight? To squeeze out from us our breath in the midst of the carnal?

An ache grows into our muscles as they stretch and expand. Our mouth slows, taking pause after swallowing one last bite. A discomfort we have grown to tolerate, for it is necessary for the change. Still, though, it does not lessen the intensity. Flames rise and feed on our insides, sending our skin to blister and melt. Like taffy in the confectionery shops, our bones and tendons extend to fill our new form. Our vocal cords thrash in our throat, unable to keep quiet throughout the agony, and from our mouth the high scream deepens into the husky voice that had allured us hours prior.

The world surrounding our metamorphosis turns to a confining void, a cocoon, a coffin. And yet, a comfort. In the silence that befalls us after our excruciating vociferous bellow, as glimpses of secrets wash through our mind and solidify into a new set of identity, there is peace. The inferno burns itself out, the embers cool into ashes, the smoke drifts ever onward into the ether and firmament. We breathe. We blink. We become.

He had been careful with his garments as we had transitioned into undress. Folded neatly upon the surface of the wardrobe, they wait for their Master’s return. They know not the difference between him and us, only that they were tailored for this body. It is of no importance that a Canvas now assumes possession, merely that they still provide their intended function. And such a magnificent and elegant job they do. Neatly pressed pants with tall leather boots of a shadowy hue, an open-chested ivory shirt, and a crimson cloak made of fine velvet. Though he had been a whoreson, he did have impeccable style.

Gathering the few possessions we carry (an athame for vicious and hidden cuts, a journal to revisit our previous faces, and a delicate golden necklace with a diamond at the heart), we proceed out into the hall. We lock the door behind us with the man’s key. The staircase at the end of the hall winds downward, every step bringing a bounce to our new brown curly hair. At the landing below sits the reception desk, occupied by the same bald bespectacled man who had attended the station when we had first entered the hotel. His eyes only leave the book in his hands when we draw near.

“Here is my key,” we tell him. Our new voice comes with an air of pompous superiority. Perhaps once we abandon the city, we can work on necessary alterations.

“Leaving so soon, Alderman Iblis?” the man asks. “And without your… guest?”

“Business to attend to,” we toss the small metal thing onto the desk. “As for the courtesan, she deserves a nice place to sleep for the night. But feel free to toss her out come morning. Good evening.”

We stroll out the glass double doors without another word. The moonlit sky welcomes us with its endless sea of stars as we head down the promenade. The salt of the ocean calls to us, a remnant of a life long forfeited. We had been a sailor aboard a ship that often crossed the Great Sybillan Waters. Though our exterior has changed multiple times since then, the skills learned from such a trade are forever. Therein lies the true beauty of a Canvas: our potential for unlimited lives with unmatched skills for untold ages. We have naught but time, lest a menace bests us with a sharp slash of sanctified silver.

The promenade comes alive the further we trek. Nighttime storefronts offering liquor or unorthodox wares open their doors to wandering patrons. The shops entice the citizenry with concoctions and oddities that might help with any and all insecurities and uncertainties. While we have no use for such potions or salves, the trinkets and other curiosities do their best to allure us inside. No matter what face we may claim, our deep inner self cannot deny this summoning.

The air is acrid with lit incense, yet there is an odd comfort in the smell. Another past life, one where we had peddled similar scented sticks along the roadside with who we at the time called family. Though we dwell on such memories on rare occasions, we do wonder sometimes what Fate had planned for the troupe after our departure. Did they end up opening a brick-and-mortar such as this one, or did they continue down the roads as they had before? Did an encounter with a tribe of bandits cut their story short, or did they ripen and gray with age until they went back to the weeds? Did they look for us upon our disappearance, or did they say their graces and move on without a glance back?

“Need help looking for anything?” 

A voice like silk draws our attention. Near the back of the space, beyond tables of assorted knick-knacks, a being watches us with bright yellow eyes. Covered from head to toe in fine black fur and its head topped by short pointed ears, an intrigued smile plays on a whiskered mouth sitting below a flat nose. A tail, long and just as black, waves back and forth behind the figure. A Felyndi, we think its kind are called, or the more common colloquial “feline folk.”

“No, thank you,” we say, mindlessly picking up a smooth round ball of jade. The little placard accompanying it claims it to be a Stone of Soothing, meant to aid in meditation. An intriguing little peace, though likely just a placebo. Fools are wont to believe anything if they so desire. But we are no such fool.

“Very well,” the Felyndi purrs. “You are welcome to peruse my offerings as you please. If you need assistance or have any questions, do not be afraid to ask.”

With a curt nod, continuing our browsing. Shiny baubles and backwoods totems mix with the occasional weathered tome and lush velvet-lined cases neatly filled with immaculate silverware. Our current form would balk at such things, would never allow himself to be seen in such a place for the commoners, yet we relish in these delights. So many stories housed here, so many lives that have come and gone which once held these items with precious care. It had been in a secondhand shop like this where we had found the trusted little dagger that now sits sheathed on our hip, as well the aged leather-bound journal in which we keep track of our past faces. Our diamond-inlaid golden necklace remains our only true heirloom, a gift from our birth mother. A Canvas like us, they taught us the way of our kind. They had been a member of our old caravan of traveling merchants, one of the many we had left behind to find a new life.

“I know your face,” the Felyndi’s voice comes closer, lower, out of nowhere.

“Beg your pardon, sir?” we say to keep our frantic surprised heartbeat under control.

“You sit on the High Council.” He steps closer, his sleek pitch frame moving in delicate yet graceful motion. His tail waves slower now, and his yellow eyes watch with narrow danger. “Alderman Iblis. Champion of the Western Isles. Protector of Affluent Children. Scourge of the Wildefolk.”

Memories of the bastard’s tirades against those of bestial races present themselves in all their horror. Though none of his laws ever came to pass, the Alderman had his fair share of allies in his unrighteous cause. Stories of bloodthirsty mobs congregating under ill met moonlight with whips and nooses churns our stomach and boils until its contents melt into acidic bile. We have long adored and respected the Wildefolk; we have often found ourselves pondering the possibility of taking one’s form since they seem humanoid enough. Alas, no opportunity has yet arisen for us to behold such knowledge.

“Many of my kinsmen have bled because of your ideologies,” he growls. He bares his claws, beautiful and lethal, as he stares us down. Our own hand hovers over the hilt of our weapon. “Perhaps now it is time for you to bleed because of them as well.”

“Mind your vile tongue, wretch,” we warn him. “You know to whom you speak, yet you forget or care not of what power this name holds within these city walls.”

The words, so condescending and arrogant, make us sick. Just more reason for us to move on from this city as quickly as possible. Lecherous faces we take can often lead to dangerous encounters as this. But once we are free and beyond the enclosing walls, we can become whomever we desire. As long as we can survive.

The jingle of small bells sounds from the door. There freezes a woman of warm complexion and a head full of innumerous minute ringlets. Wide dazzling eyes like peridot gemstones catch our scene, confused and startled, looking from the Felyndi to us and back again. 

“Hello,” she says in a small voice.

“Good evening, madam,” the Felyndi straightens, putting away his talons and putting on his salesman charm. “How may I assist you, dear?”

“Do you happen to sell fine jewelry?” the woman asks.

“Only the finest,” he grins to her before heading back to his station. “Please, step up to the counter and I will show you what I have.”

“Oh, but you seem to be with a customer already,” she drifts further inside with caution. “Don’t want to interrupt.”

“Worry not,” we tell her, crossing past the tables and towards the door. “There is nothing of value or worth here, only overpriced junk.”

Back out into the night, we set on our trek to the home of Alderman Iblis. Too close to danger we have flown, and now we must make haste. With a hurried walk we retreat from the promenade, sparing the occasional glance over our shoulder in fresh paranoia. The farther we go, with each look finding no trailing shadows, the more our heart slows in its rhythm. That fear of a pursuer dissipates, and less frequently do we cast our eyes behind us. Returning to a less lively street, but one still with its own nocturnal wanderers, an ease of relief sets in and calms our nerves for good. The gates of Alderman Iblis’s estate come into view at the far end of the street, the mansion waiting beyond wrought iron bars.

Something sharp sinks into our shoulder as a hand clenches tight over our mouth. The handful of claws dig deep and yank us from the sidewalk, ripping us into the seclusion of an alleyway. Our hands fumble along our belt for our athame, but fail to find its hilt. The assailant releases us with a hard spin that sends us to the stone ground. Turning onto our back, our fingers finally clutching our weapon, the figure looms over us. While it is of no surprise to see the black-furred Felyndi’s claws dripping our crimson, we are struck with a bewilderment regarding his solidarity. Has he no comrades to back him up on tonight’s little crusade? Or did he have no time to round up his posse? Who now mans his shop in his predatory absence?

A long and thin tongue reaches out as bloody claws rise near his mouth. He gives a pause after the first taste, but then shoots us a wicked grin. “Your blood tastes different than that of other men,” he sneers through his teeth. “Let’s see if you die different, too.”

He pounces, claws outstretched for our throat, but our legs rise and toss him over our body. An agile thing, he lands on his feet with minimal effort. We spring up and meet him in a crouched stance, our blade free of its sheath. Like our feline opponent, it is ready to shed blood. Through lunges and slashes, the two of us exchange attempts in our deadly dance. A gash here, a slice there, yet neither of us are able to land vicious lethal blows. Scarlet droplets decorate our surroundings, creating an immaculate masterpiece of violent art. Every too-close pass adds another splash, another line of distant red stars in the gray of this stoney firmament.

Our free hand reaches out as the Felyndi dashes around us. A tight pull, and his back slams into our chest. His wounds there meet ours, no doubt exchanging a drop or two of blood. The wet metal in our hand acts quickly, making its own little sprint across the Felyndi’s neck. In our hold, his muscles tauten and fight to keep his precious lifesource where it belongs. But in the frenzy, we cannot deny our sharp little friend its vicious hunger. Over and over it bites and stings wherever it can on the Felyndi’s torso until he becomes heavy in our arms with unwilling defeat. His mass crumples on the ground as we let go and adds a statue to the speckled composition.

We fall against a wall and lower to the ground in much-need respite. Our wounds close on their own in short time, faster to heal than it takes our heartbeat to calm once more. A gift bestowed upon our kind from whatever deity created us, for which our gratitude will never deplete. We need to, however, consult a book about the divines to remind ourself of who to properly thank; it has been far too long since we last prayed to any of the Novhina.

“Good fight,” a voice coos from some secret crevice.

We raise our blade to the darkness of the alleyway and hurry to our feet. A laugh, low and feminine, bounces off the brick walls of the tall buildings around us. Spinning in circles to locate the source, we come up empty. It isn’t until she reveals herself, materializing out of the shadows, that our eyes find her form. Despite our brief earlier exchange, her warm skin and head of dark ringlets are familiar.

“Easy,” she says, her hands raised in casual forfeiture. “We mean you no harm.”

“We?” the word repeats from our lips. “There are others shrouded in the dark?”

“No, child,” she steps closer. “It is only you and we.”

The simple plural rings in our ears once again, turning the key of our mind and unlocking the puzzle with the obvious answer. We lower our athame and put it to sleep.

“You are a Canvas.”

“You were always a clever one,” she smiles as her steps bring her only inches from me. A necklace, one she had not worn at our previous crossing, shines like emeralds in the moonlight. Her hand, gentle and warm like morning sunlight, cradles our cheek. Her touch, such a simple yet magical thing, brings to the surface memories of a long-gone childhood full of important teachings and unconditional love.

“Mother?” we breathe, and our eyes well up with blissful tears.

“Let’s get you home and cleaned up,” she softly insists. “We have many stories to share.”

The Dominicus Tales: The Fall: A Short Story

Happy Saturday, readers! This week, we have a short story I wrote back in 2014. It had stemmed from a writing prompt where you had to include a pre-determined sentence. There are other short stories featuring Dominicus and Ronald, but I have yet to finish them. Perhaps in between chapters of Incinerate I will revisit them. For now, enjoy!

Young Ronald, his curly hair the shade of tumbleweed and blue eyes brighter than the sky, kept watch over his guardian. The child no older than eleven hugged his knees as the fire crackled on in their damp cave. Ronald’s guardian, a man who was more than that, startled awake, his charcoal hair disheveled and his eyes of jade wide. Those fearful eyes searched the wet, glistening rock for whatever struck fear in the more-than-a-man. His angelic face looked wrong with that fright in it.

“What is it, Dominicus?” the boy asked, fright settling into him as well.

The older one found his young companion when his voice bounced against the stone, and in the sight of the boy, he eased. Wiping the cold sweat from his brow, Dominicus explained:

“The nightmare that I’ve been avoiding for many years.”

“What happened in your nightmare?” The fear in Ronald did not ebb just yet.

“After working a hard day, I came home to see my beloved cradling our child. I didn’t know which was more frightening: seeing my dead bride-to-be and stillborn child or knowing that someone broke into my house to place them there.”

The cave sat silent, save for the cracks and pops of the kindling. Dominicus rubbed his eyes with a low and soft exhale. Ronald kept his blues on his guardian.

“It was long ago, a century before your birth,” Dominicus explained further. “We were planned to wed when we received the news that she was with child. But as the baby grew, she became weak. She did not survive the birth, and my son never took his first breath outside the womb. My first brush with Death. This scene comes to me whenever a passing is near, and I fear that it is yours.”

Ronald stood, after a long minute, and walked out of the cave. Dominicus strode after him. The boy stared off into the sea, his feet close to the edge of the cliff. His guardian, who Ronald had thought of more as a mentor or even a father, approached with caution. 

“What kind of man can you be to tell a child he’s about to die?” the boy with tumbleweed hair struck out when the footsteps ceased. 

“I am sorry, Ronald, but we all die someday. Death comes to all. Such is life.”

“Not you.” The words came over the boy’s shoulder, spat with anger and poison. 

Dominicus stayed quiet for a long time, the wind rippling his cloak. There was nothing but the truth in his companion’s words, something he had always respected in this young one. The more-than-a-man had cheated Death more times than he could recount. Perhaps to save his young friend, Dominicus would finally surrender. But how long until Death claimed this honest and brave boy for his own? Fifty years? Twenty? Two?

“I can keep you from Death if you allow me,” Dominicus said.

“For how long?”

“As long as you’d like.”

Ronald turned his eyes to the stars, took in a deep breath, and let it out. He looked down to the basin below, a foot reaching out over the edge.

“And what if this is where I should meet my end? What if I am to fall here?”

“Then I shall catch you before you make it to the bottom.” Dominicus’s hand rested upon Ronald’s shoulder, a simple yet caring motion. 

Ronald’s foot retreated to its place by its mate. A wolf howled somewhere behind them, its call followed by that of its pack. And from where Ronald’s foot had been, a bony hand appeared. It stretched for the boy, who remained unaware. Dominicus, however, spotted the glaring white bone in the darkness. Pulling his companion back, they entered the Nothing and came out on the other side.

The two of them stood in an old home, vacated for decades. The walls sported large wet spots and peeling wallpaper. The fireplace sat dark, a black hole on the wall. The sofa that once was a lovely pink had become a pale and moldy thing. 

“I’m going to check the rest of the house to make sure we are safe here,” the more-than-a-man told the boy. “Stay here.”

The cloak whipped behind Dominicus as he left the living room. Ronald could hear the creaking wood under the weight of his guardian as he roamed the house, but he could also hear something in the room to his left. Low growls, a busy and greedy jaw, the rip and tear of flesh. And from the room in which Dominicus first ventured into, a whisper:

“Psst! Hey! Over here.”

The little girl was younger than Ronald, nine at the most. Her hair hid up in a black stocking cap, her white shirt with long red sleeves filthy with dirt and dried blood. Her jeans did not fare any better. Her brown eyes, or at least they appeared brown to Ronald, showed her urgency and fear. A gloved hand beckoned to the boy. And despite his guardian’s command, Ronald went to the girl with careful and quiet steps.

“What’s in there?” the boy asked, motioning to the other room.

“A big monster. Do you think your daddy can kill it?”

Ronald nodded. “He can do anything. I’m Ronald.”

“Charleen,” the girl answered. “My daddy calls me Charlie, though.” 

Charlie stepped away from Ronald, looking behind her. There was a closed door that Ronald assumed led to the room with the monster. Next to the door, in the corner, was a square hole in the floor. Charlie stepped into it and Ronald followed.

The ladder led to the basement, a dark, open room. Two sleeping bags lay on the cement floor, a dead lantern between them. Charlie sat atop one, and Ronald sat next to her. A rat scurried along the wall behind them, but neither child turned to look. 

“So where’s your dad?” Ronald asked, but received no answer. “What about your mom?” Again, nothing. He contemplated asking about what the monster was eating up in that room, but as the question formed in his mind, he knew the answer. 

“Skyler tried to kill the monster,” Charlie said, her voice small and morose. “He thought it would be easy, like hunting.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Ronald could offer.

“How did you and your daddy find us?” Talking about Skyler, whoever they were, was difficult for her. This was clear to Ronald, but who Charlie meant as “us” was less so. Skyler, as she made it sound, was dead. Her silence when asked about her parents told him that they were dead as well. Maybe there was a fourth member of their family?

“We just happened upon this place,” Ronald told her. “We didn’t know if anyone else was here.”

“Do you think your daddy will let us come with you after he kills the monster?”

Ronald didn’t know, and he said as much. “I can ask, though,” he added.

Something moved above them. The growl that soon followed the footsteps signaled to the monster. Ronald’s eyes tracked the monster’s movements into the living room, and a familiar voice found its way to the basement.

“Skyler, you damned beast,” Dominicus snarled. “Where is your master?”

Ronald arched an eyebrow as he looked to Charlie. Her brown eyes turned black and her gloves came off. Underneath were bony fingers, glaring white in the darkness. 

“Charlie?”

The girl who was not really a girl pounced on the boy. Her skeletal claws dug into the flesh of his stomach, and he let out a cry of agony. Up above, a body fell hard to the floor. And in the basement, Charlie continued to rip through Ronald and shred his insides.

The boy went limp as his blood pooled around him and his attacker. His brighter-than-the-sky blue eyes rolled and found the narrow ladder that led to the first story of the house. Something dark fell through the hole, and in his weariness he thought it to be his Dominicus to save him. The large mass flowed with every movement, and soon something shone against the dark. A face, an angelic face.

“Dom…in…cus,” Ronald wheezed, the air leaving his lungs.

“Get away from my boy, Death!” Dominicus shouted.

“It’s no use, my friend,” Charlie taunted in a voice that was not hers, a deep and booming noise. “He’s almost gone. He is mine.”

A beam of light filled the basement, and Ronald no longer felt the claws of Death in him. Coldness took him, and he could sense the brink fast approaching. 

“I am so sorry, Ronald,” Dominicus cried over the boy. “I have failed you.” He raised the boy’s head, to look into those eyes once more, and there he saw a solution.

The basement disappeared as they entered the Nothing once more. They came to a mountainside, the gusts of wind bringing an icy chill. Dominicus scaled the rock until they rested upon a safe and flat surface. He lay the boy down and made a circle around them. 

“Death shall not take you this night,” he whispered. This boy had been a friend, a son to the man who was more than a man. They had weathered many storms together in their three years together. They had saved each other’s lives numerous times. Dominicus had brought the boy to the very mountain on which he lay to save him from Death thrice before, each time managing to escape his grasp. But on this night, not even Dominicus believed Ronald would pull through. It was not a matter of doubting his skill, but of the boy’s willingness to live on.

Death appeared outside the circle, still in the form of little Charlie. His brown eyes did not convey the long awaited sense of victory Dominicus had seen so many times before. Instead, Death waited with an air of solemnity. 

“Dominicus,” he said in Charlie’s true soft voice, “Ronald’s time has come. Please, surrender him unto me. No harm shall befall you, of this you have my word.”

The guardian, the mentor, the father looked down to the dead boy. The blue eyes that had been brighter than the sky were now dull and lightless. The flow of his blood onto the stony ground stopped. Dominicus rose with a tear in his eye and a pain in his heart, and broke the circle. Death stepped through, took the boy’s hand, and disappeared. Dominicus fled into the west with the boy’s body in his arms. Ronald was laid to rest, and Dominicus moved on.

Poetry 006 – spiral

I wasn’t okay when I wrote this, but I’m doing better now.

round and round and round we go
grasping for something to save us
finding only smooth obsidian walls

colder and colder and colder we descend
naught but the shrinking sun above us
soon a pinpoint as we fall

suffocate in this darkness
smothered by this arctic chill
isolation will kill us all

mindless we wander
the blind leading the blind
in self-fueled morose we become enthralled

macabre melodic melancholy
mend this mess we’ve made of ourselves
glamourous pain you applaud

round and round and round we go
spiral in and out of control for eternity
progress, once a sprint, slows to a crawl

Beverly & Dominic: A Short Story

Hello there, readers! In this week’s piece, we have a snippet of something I might work on more at some point. For now, though, it works well (at least, in my opinion) as just a short story. I wanted to try something a little different than my standard fare, so I came up with this little piece that would fit into a romance story. Thank you for reading!

He came to me at night. His figure lingered beyond the glass pane of the front door. I took notice of his presence on my way from the kitchen, not but a few seconds before he knocked. Why didn’t he use the doorbell, I don’t know. Perhaps he didn’t want to wake anyone else in the house, and his solid rapping would be, at least in part, muffled by the thunder and rain. The cool breeze rushed his drenched allure into me as I opened the door. Black hair hung beyond his jaw, giving way to the short beard there. Tall, more than a whole head above me (though that really didn’t say much for someone nicknamed “Munchkin” by her older cousins). Even in the dim light, those green eyes shone like precious gems. He watched me, almost haunting in his gaze, and I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to. He was too mesmerizing, too subtly glamorous, too damn gorgeous.

“Would you like to come in?” I offered, doing my best to keep my voice stable under his look.

“Yes, please,” he responded, a husk to his voice that sent tingles through me.

He glided inside and I led him toward the parlor. The fireplace was alive there, bright and warm and perfect for reading one of my romance books. With outstretched arms I took hold of the back of his long gray coat and set it next to the fire.

“Would you like a towel or anything?” I asked. “You’re all soaked through.”

His lengthy frame flexed under his sodden shirt and pants, as if he drew in a deep breath for the first time after being submerged for nearly too long. He looked around for a moment, taking in the decorations salvaged from our old family cabin. Taxidermy heads of antlered woodland friends; landscape paintings of forests, lakes, and Colonial times; photographs of some of Dad’s biggest catches. Did he find familiarity on our walls? Did it remind him of his own home growing up? Or did it all seem so foreign to him. I wondered, then, what the Keeper of Marquardt Manor put on his walls to make the house a home.

“No, thank you,” that huskiness returned. His body, sculpted like a Roman masterpiece, turned until he faced me once more. “You are very kind, Miss Bentley.”

“Thank you, Mr. Perrison,” my shaky voice squeaked out.

His hand, such a beautifully crafted and strong thing, found my cheek. Though still wet from the rain, its warmth still cut through. His touch, gentle and sweet, brought even more of a blush to my face. My head swam in that delight, daring to buckle my knees and send me to the floor. Or, perhaps, into this arms.

“You can call me Dominc,” he whispered.

“You can call me Beverly,” I returned.

He lowered himself, craned down until his face was not even an inch from mine. Eyes closing, lips parted, he leaned in. Whether it was instinct playing with desire or some force flowing through me, I met him there. In the press I wondered what a group of butterflies was called. The thought got lost the moment it arose, washed away with a sensory overload of pure bliss. No one else I had ever kissed had this effect. No one else could silence my seemingly eternal internal monologue. No one else could make me melt like he could.

I don’t remember whose hands started it, but piece by piece our fingers clutched onto each other’s clothes until we lay bare before the fireplace. His body was hot and firm against my skin, yet remained gentle throughout. Every inch of his glory breathed life into me, as did I into him. We made it difficult for each other to keep quiet in our exchange of caregiving, our very souls aching to let our vocal cords sound off from the shared ecstasy.

The storm outside smoothed to a gentle midnight rain as we came to an end. Nestled between his body and the dying flames, it all seemed unreal. A chapter out of one of my books. Whether a dream or reality, it didn’t matter. His arms around me, his sweet little kisses on my neck and shoulders, the splendor of it all… would we ever have this again?

The Secret Keeper: A Short Story

You know that feeling when it’s 2 AM, you’re in bed trying to fall asleep, and then a story/character idea pops in your head and you just can’t let yourself fall asleep until you write it down? Enter this piece. No clue where this will go for the time being, since Incinerate is still my main focus. So, for now, enjoy The Secret Keeper.

Her words come with an ebb and flow like a midnight tide. They build slow, creeping toward the shore, gathering their strength. Then, once mighty enough, they rush forth and crash upon the sand with the salty water. There’s a catharsis in it for her, a weight lifted off her shoulders with the revelations and confessions and tears. The things she never shared with anyone else float away into the great beyond, the embers and smoke of a bonfire. Her exhale escapes in a long relief. She had held those secrets close in her heart all her life, not even telling her husband about what had happened all those years ago. They had been a lifetime ago, she said, and now with the memories aired out like summertime laundry she can finally move on. Live life anew. Repair those old bridges once set ablaze. Say goodbye.

If only I could do the same. If only I could light a flame to the things I know and watch them burn. If only I could say goodbye to tainted reflections of my past. If only I could see someone minding their own business, sit down next to them, and after a few minutes of polite small talk unleash the hounds of my sins and traumas upon them. 

I know she means no harm in it. None of them ever do. They don’t know. How could they? I don’t wear a lapel pin warning them of the burden it places onto me. I don’t have a sign to ward off the confessors. Hell, I don’t even stop them once they get going with their stories. I just let them carry on until the tales are told to their end. It’s good for these people to talk through it, let it all out, get it off their chests. Why they can’t do it with a licensed professional, I have no idea. 

She gives me a tearful thank you, a look of clarity and lightness on her round face. Saying no more, she leaves me to my half-eaten sandwich in the middle of the park. It’s a good thing they don’t often give their names. If anyone were to come around with questions, I wouldn’t have to worry about identifying them. The only info I would have on my odd visitors were the things they told me. I would have deniability if asked to rat them out. And heaven knows I wouldn’t speak a word of their secrets. Not out of morality alone, though that does factor into it pretty heavily. The consequences of spilling the beans are far worse than just a guilty conscience, depending on the secret. It’s only happened a few times to me, and those instances have more than enough drilled in the lesson to keep my mouth shut.

The first time had been a complete accident. My best friend, Sheila Hamm, had been flirting with one of the boys at school, Jeff Young. Sheila and I were in seventh grade, Jeff was in eighth. During recess one spring afternoon, they were going back and forth about whose favorite baseball team was better. They were set to face off that evening, so Sheila and Jeff made a bet: whoever lost would have to do whatever the other one said for a day. Come the next morning, Jeff was aglow with pride and gloating about his team’s victory. At recess, he and Sheila went over the terms of their agreement once more, and she reluctantly agreed to comply. He whispered in her ear the first thing he wanted: a kiss after school. The only catch was that she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about it. Naturally, Sheila told me right away. 

Later that night, hours after the last bell of the day rang out, she called me on the house phone to tell me how it went. I crossed my heart and hoped to die, as was common practice of the day, to never let anyone know about what happened or the fact that Jeff still had a wad of Hubba Bubba in his mouth when they kissed. After the phone call, my older sister, Callie, cornered me. She had picked up the landline near the end of my conversation with Sheila and was curious as to why my friend was so giddy and giggly. At first, I lied and said Sheila had gotten an A on some paper she wrote for English that she busted her ass on. Callie, ever a bloodhound for dishonesty, could tell I was fibbing. After many threats to cut my hair in the middle of the night and record over my favorite VHS tapes with the scariest movies on TV she could find, I caved and told her the truth.

That’s when it happened. Sitting in my room, her sharp brown eyes staring at me from the foot of my bed, I felt it. A sweet and gentle press on my lips, scared yet brave and eager. I could even smell a hint of the bubblegum, feel his hands taking a loose hold of mine, see the gold flecks in his eyes as he smiled after. It was over as quick as it began. Callie gawked at me, asked why I zoned off for a second, and left when I didn’t answer.

People started coming to me with their secrets after that. It was slow at first, only one or two over the course of a month. But after a while, they came more frequently. Sometimes it was a kid at school revealing they had a crush on someone or that they cheated on a test. Sometimes it was ladies from church telling me how they regretted getting married and having kids so soon after graduating high school. 

Things got worse after I turned sixteen. It seemed I had a new secret to keep just about every day. I had grown accustomed to freezing people out if they ever asked what so-and-so and I were talking about. Most people wouldn’t push the subject much after I gave them the same ole “something about something they saw on TV or YouTube or whatever.” To be honest, most of what I had been told wasn’t too serious or anything. A bit of petty shoplifting here, a sip of their dad’s booze there, nothing really out of the ordinary. The quality of the content was manageable, the quantity less so.

Then Ben Densberger found me.

“Hey, Syd, mind if I sit here?” Looking up from my turkey sandwich, I shook my head. 

He took the seat across from me, his own lunch tray mostly empty. All he had was a bottle of water, a small package of crackers, and a cheese stick. It wasn’t unusual for Ben; nobody ever really saw him eat anything substantial at lunch. His folks didn’t go out to any of the restaurants in town, and none of the kids with delivery jobs dropped food off at his family’s house. For the most part, he and his parents kept to themselves. 

“How you been?” he asked, cracking open the bottle and peeling back the clear plastic around the cheese.

“Been okay,” I shrugged. “You?”

“Same, I guess,” he answered as he tore off a chunk of mozzarella. 

It was hard to watch him eat. Ben was mostly just skin and bones, and anytime he would have even a little something during lunch, it looked like he was gifted with a luxurious seven-course dinner with a vintage wine that paired perfectly with the meal. Everything seemed to be the most delicious thing he ever tasted, no matter how bland or basic it was. He would eat it slow, getting as much enjoyment out of the simplistic less-than-snacks as he could. It was sad, to be perfectly honest. We all joked that he would explode if he ever ate real food for once.

“Have you ever had these cheese sticks?” his question came when he was midway through it. I nodded a little as he cleansed his palette with a swig of water. “Good stuff. Wish I had it at home, but Ma doesn’t let us have any snacks or anything. She doesn’t let us eat much at all, really. Says we only deserve homemade food like she had growing up. But she hates cooking and says it ain’t my dad’s place or mine to do any kitchen work, so usually we just eat a little bit of whatever we have laying around.”

“Why don’t you eat more here then?” I asked after a long moment, my own food now discarded to my tray. A cold pang cuts into my heart for the boy.

“Ma says she doesn’t trust the cooks or the school much when it comes to the food they make,” he shrugged, tearing into the small bag of crackers. “Something about how it’s essentially glorified pig slop made to look pretty. So she gives me just a little bit of money to get a little something to tide me over until I get home. Usually just enough to cover this.”

He gestured to his “lunch”, if it can even be called that, and it somehow looked even more pitiful than it had a moment before. Yet he chewed away, a big goofy grin on his face with each bite. My turkey sandwich looked like fine dining in comparison. I almost offered what remained of it to him, but stories from History class about liberated internment camps at the end of World War II gave me pause. Give him too much, and his stomach may not be able handle it.

“Well, good talkin to ya, Syd,” his smile turned to me once his food was gone. Ben got up and wandered off, his place taken by Sheila and Jeff not long after.

“Was that Densberger?” she asked as she settled in with her own sandwich, a bag of chips, a soda, and a cookie.

“Yeah,” I responded, faraway. “He said his mom doesn’t really feed him.”

A hollowness made itself known in my stomach with a low groan. I clutched my middle at the sound, an emptiness filling me. Even though my sandwich was nearly gone, it felt like I hadn’t eaten in days. I paced myself with the remainder of my lunch, hoping it would ease the dullness within me and suffice until I could get home and eat more. 

I knew right away what had happened. Call me crazy, but it was obvious. For some reason, if I told someone’s secret to anyone else, I could feel that secret. I could essentially live it. I couldn’t explain it, and I certainly couldn’t tell anyone about it. My own secret, I suppose. One I intended to keep.

Child services found out about the Densbergers not long after. Sheila and Jeff are still together to this day. And I am left hearing the most trivial to the most heinous things people have said or felt or done. 

My name is Sydney Campbell, and I am a Secret Keeper.

008 NaNoWriMo 2022: Day Zero

The time has come once again for National Novel Writing Month, better known as NaNoWriMo! Every year in the month of November, writers from all around the world set their sights on writing 50,000 words of a new writing project or a work in progress. And what does one receive upon reaching such a milestone? Mostly bragging rights, but in years past winners also were given access to a cool printable certificate honoring such achievement. I have had the privilege of being able to have two of these certificates, but I seem to have lost one somewhere in the midst of moving over the years.

For those who have not been keeping up with this website the past few months, I have been (irregularly) posting chapters of my main WIP, a young adult fantasy romance called Incinerate. So, naturally, I have chosen Incinerate as my NaNoWriMo 2022 project! As of this writing on October 31, 2022, Incinerate has 36191 words and 9 finished chapters. (I will be posting the newest chapter soon, don’t worry dear readers!) With the standard NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words, the combined word count I will be aiming for is 86191. I look forward to seeing where Ash and Sera take me on this stretch of their story!

Have you been keeping up with Incinerate? If so, what are your thoughts on it so far? Do you have a favorite character? (Mine’s Cujo; I just love writing him and his scenes with Ash.) If you haven’t started reading yet, feel free to CLICK HERE and start!

And to all my fellow writers participating in NaNoWriMo this year: may you have a bountiful fountain of inspiration that leads to 50,000 words and more!

Rokkoh and the Final Year, Chapter 11 FINALE/EPILOGUE

The tavern is busier than usual thanks to the Solstice Festival. Travelers from all across Sylzaria migrate to Allendar to sample the delicious foods and drinks at the bazaar. Even folks from beyond the borders visit, searching for unique relics or interesting knick knacks. A seemingly endless amount of vendors set up shop on the roadside, in the town square, and even in the parks. Those looking to escape the summer sun find themselves in one of Allendar’s many taverns and bars. If they stumble into Dawn’s Tankard, and if they have the coin, then I will give them their tankard of drink.

Most patrons arrive in groups, some large and others small. Most are casual folk, but some come donned in armor. Perhaps one day, once I’ve saved enough from tending the bar, I will have enough money to buy some armor of my own. In the meantime, between taking money and filling tankards, I steal glances at a middle-aged man with graying red hair covered in some sort of black steel. What I wouldn’t give for something as beautiful as that! One day, I remind myself, once I’ve slung enough drinks and maybe swiped a haughty coinpurse. 

“Another, boy!” the man calls from the end of the bar. 

Picking up a jug, I hurry over to him. He slides a silver coin across the bartop as I fill his cup. He keeps his eyes down, either tired or sullen, and offers a grunt of thanks when I finish. On his breastplate is a worn sigil, a crimson etching of some horned beast. Folks like him make me wonder what stories they have to tell, and if they would even be willing to tell them. Perhaps when they’re one drink too far gone, their tongues would become looser. If the tavern dies down a bit in a while, and if the armored man is still sipping away his sorrows, I might have to indulge my curiosity.

“Barkeep!” a young woman calls from the other end of the bar. 

Two dark-skinned figures wait there, watching me. While the young man with her is tall and lanky, she is shorter by a head. They both offer happy and excited grins, but hers shines brighter. The ringlets of her black hair hang loose around her smiling cheeks.

Kym and Max Rudge, my two best friends in the whole wide world.

My heart soars at the sight of them. Had it really been three months already? I could have sworn I still had a day or two before they arrived. A welcome happy surprise, I guess.

“Happy Birthday,” I smile to the twins.

Continue to “Rokkoh and the Old Woman”

Continue to “Rokkoh and the Smith”

Continue to “Rokkoh and the Princess”

Rokkoh and the Final Year, Chapter 10

A carriage waits outside the Tower. Strange, to be the one on this side of the Departure Ceremony. Scores of eyes look on, mainly out of obligation, as the Baroness steps forward in yet another elegant silver dress and an updo. She forces a smile at me, likely celebrating on the inside that this will be the last day she will have to deal with the most atrocious and violent boy to ever live under her roof. Out amongst the disinterest are the bittersweet faces of Kym, Max, and Pinnow; as they look on from the back of the crowd, Pinnow perches atop of Max’s shoulders. It’s no surprise the little one’s usual cohorts are absent, and they are not missed.

“Today, we come together to wish our friend Rokkoh DiFilo well as he sets off to start his new life,” the Baroness calls out. I can’t help the wince that comes with her loud voice; it never seemed so deafening when I would stand in the back of the group. “Rokkoh came to us fifteen years ago at the age of three. Over the course of his time with us, he has learned valuable skill that will aid him in the next chapter of his story.”

I hold in my groan. The same script as every Departure Ceremony before, but not a surprising fact. Deviation is heresy. Simply swap out the placeholders to match the context. Leave the bulk untouched. The bones of the speech are forever, only the flesh may adapt. Next will be her question about what I plan on doing with my life. That would be easier to answer if I had a clue. I prefer eating food over making it. The Tower never offered much in the arts of smithing. I have only a cursory knowledge of husbandry. I can’t carry much of a tune, and I never picked up any instruments. My swordarm has decent practice, so perhaps a life of a soldier would suit me. Not the biggest fan of dying for someone else’s cause, though. Maybe I could be a mercenary, though I would only accept contracts of someone who deserved killing. Even then, it doesn’t sit right within me.

I need something different. Something outside of the box. Something no one else would say. This whole process is so formal, so damn serious. No one enjoys these things. Either they’re losing a friend or don’t care whatsoever. They deserve something to remember. They all need a good laugh, though I’ve never been much of a king’s fool. If I think of something good, maybe they’ll remember me as more than the kid who damn near killed someone. I need something big, over the top, exaggerated. Even if I don’t believe in it.

“Rokkoh, what will you be doing in your first footsteps of adulthood?” her question comes with feigned interest.

“Not quite sure what I’ll do at first,” I answer with honesty. “But one day I am going to become a king. Whether by overthrowing a corrupt monarch or by discovering some long-lost lineage, I will have a crown.”

The ensuing silence is just about crippling. Their wide-eyed gawking, their gaping maws of shock and surprise, their perplexion… it doesn’t feel right. I expected laughter, applause, anything but the dreadful quiet. The Baroness’s incredulous glare in the corner of my eye is more fitting, at least for her. 

I find Kym, Max, and Pinnow again. The twins wear little smirks while Pinnow lets his grin grow big and bright. Amused, they seem; welcome islands after a long journey at sea. They don’t care if I’m serious or not. They don’t care how ridiculous it sounds. They see the humor, the break from the mundane. Hell, maybe they even think it could be possible one day.

“Yeah!” Pinnow exclaims. “King Rokkoh!”

The three of them break into cheers, hands clapping hard and hollers ringing out amongst the quiet. The celebration infects a few others throughout the crowd, half-hearted and disjointed claps sounding here and there. With a sharp look from the Baroness, their clatter ends abrupt. 

“How bold and ambitious,” she says through a closed smile, her piercing hazel eyes sneering at me. 

Judgment and doubt glare bright in her condescension, a stark contrast to the support of my friends. Then again, why would I expect any different? It’s not as if my declaration would have wooed her or changed how she saw me. For my fellow orphans, they will likely forget with time. But for the Baroness, memories linger everlasting behind the hazels. Every new arrival to the Tower of Lost Children, every Departure Ceremony, every sin in between… all are eternal.

 â€œIt is time to say goodbye, children,” she addresses the crowd, stepping away from me. “We wish you, Rokkoh DiFilo, nothing but happiness and success as you venture into adulthood!”

 The crowd offers more enthusiasm with their new round of applause, but many still understandably lack sincerity. I sling my long bag of clothes over my shoulder and give them one last look before stepping into the carriage. The bittersweet faces of Kym, Max, and Pinnow stick out amongst them all. Although the plan is to meet up with the twins upon their release from the Tower in a few months, it is likely that I will never see Pinnow ever again. While I am in his debt, I doubt the occasion will arise for me to pay him back. Then again, I am no Seer; the future is vastly unknown to me. Even the arrangement with Kym and Max is not guaranteed. Who knows what could happen within the coming months? Certainly not me.

My heart pangs at the thought of fate separating us forever, or even additional months. It would be so much easier, so much more pleasant if I could take them with me now. Or, at the very least, Kym. The world would be ours to take. Travel from place to place, offering our skills for coin, siphoning the excess of the rich, running wild and free. Kym and Rokkoh. To the ends of the earth, and onward. 

I offer the three of them a faint smile, a little promise that everything will be alright and I will be fine. Pinnow waves a small hand, slow and sad. Max gives a curt nod. Kym, on the other hand, seems to take no solace in my simple gesture. Eyes glistening, she fights the coming waves. Always a fighter, sweet Kym. Those few months won’t pass quick enough. 

Our eyes break as I toss my bag into the carriage. The ride to Allendar is set to be quiet; no cohorts will accompany me this time. Prime time to take a nap, I suppose. Taking hold of the doorway and stepping onto the little step, I say my last goodbyes in my head.

“Wait!” she exclaims.

Kym pushes through the crowd until they part for her. Ignoring the curious eyes of the others and the offended squint of the Baroness, she doesn’t stop until she is next to me. My hands release as I turn back to face her, my heart racing fervent. She looks up to me, dark eyes wide and screaming please and pleas. My tongue begs to let something simple and sweet escape, but my brain locks up. I stand before her, lost for words. My hands find hers, bringing a glint of brightness to her eyes and a curve to her mouth. 

This is it. This has to be the moment. That ever-longed step into what life has to offer the two of us. That elusive chance to become more than what we are. That opportunity to end this past year’s game of unspoken feelings. If there was a time for it, no other day provided a clearer sign ever before. It would be so easy. Just to finally give in, let my hope prevail, set in motion the loom that binds our fates. To truly begin our story, to dive deep into the waters of what awaits us, to break the shackles of the Baroness’s so-called morality rules. To just lean in and…

Kym rips her fingers from mine after a short moment. My surprise and confusion shine in my eyes at the sudden shift, but her face does not change with the motion. Instead, one hand takes my waist while the other snakes up to the back of my neck. She pulls me in, our bodies meeting as she leans up onto the tips of her toes. Her eyes begin to close and her lips part ever so slightly as she brings my head down with gentle pressure. Out of instinct I didn’t know dwelled within me, I follow her lead; one hand taking her waist, the other settling into a soft caress of her cheek, my eyelids coming together as our lips approach each other.

The world falls away. All the worry about the future, all the sins of the past, all the eyes of the audience fade into the void. A warmth fills me, soothes my heartbeat, at her touch. We draw each other in closer, our bodies touching and our hands holding firm. The simple and sweet give and take leaves me wanting more. Our lips slow, linger, press again. Hungry, needy, addicted… The long-awaited relief comes strong and powerful, and it takes all our will to break away. Foreheads resting on each other’s, unbridled unabashed unashamed smiles spread wide and true on our faces. Kym’s hand on my side rises to meet the other around the back of my neck, and I let mine on her cheek fall to her waist to hold her there. Shaky yet happy breaths escape us as we lock eyes. I’ve never seen such a brightness in her before, such a radiant blissful beauty, such purity.

I want this moment to last forever. I want to live in this feeling with her for the rest of my life. This perfect sunshine between us, this glorious glee… it should be eternal. It should be like the air, weightless and easy and so satisfying. It should be necessary, ever-present and everlasting.

“I’ll see you in three months,” she whispers through her smile. The words bring clouds that overcast the sun, but my sky remains bright.

“I’ll see you in three months,” I repeat, mirroring her soft tone and grin. 

Kym backs away, slow and hesitant, out of my grasp. I climb into the carriage and shut the door behind me. Peeking out the little window, she fades out of sight as the horses set off down the road. The inevitable silence seeps in, accompanied by the longing. Unbearable, almost, but I know it won’t last. One day, sooner than I know it, we’ll be together again. Her, me, and even Max. We’ll be able to live out our lives as we see fit. 

Three months to go.

Continue to Chapter Eleven, Finale/Epilogue