A carriage waits outside the Tower. Strange, to be the one on this side of the Departure Ceremony. Scores of eyes look on, mainly out of obligation, as the Baroness steps forward in yet another elegant silver dress and an updo. She forces a smile at me, likely celebrating on the inside that this will be the last day she will have to deal with the most atrocious and violent boy to ever live under her roof. Out amongst the disinterest are the bittersweet faces of Kym, Max, and Pinnow; as they look on from the back of the crowd, Pinnow perches atop of Max’s shoulders. It’s no surprise the little one’s usual cohorts are absent, and they are not missed.
“Today, we come together to wish our friend Rokkoh DiFilo well as he sets off to start his new life,” the Baroness calls out. I can’t help the wince that comes with her loud voice; it never seemed so deafening when I would stand in the back of the group. “Rokkoh came to us fifteen years ago at the age of three. Over the course of his time with us, he has learned valuable skill that will aid him in the next chapter of his story.”
I hold in my groan. The same script as every Departure Ceremony before, but not a surprising fact. Deviation is heresy. Simply swap out the placeholders to match the context. Leave the bulk untouched. The bones of the speech are forever, only the flesh may adapt. Next will be her question about what I plan on doing with my life. That would be easier to answer if I had a clue. I prefer eating food over making it. The Tower never offered much in the arts of smithing. I have only a cursory knowledge of husbandry. I can’t carry much of a tune, and I never picked up any instruments. My swordarm has decent practice, so perhaps a life of a soldier would suit me. Not the biggest fan of dying for someone else’s cause, though. Maybe I could be a mercenary, though I would only accept contracts of someone who deserved killing. Even then, it doesn’t sit right within me.
I need something different. Something outside of the box. Something no one else would say. This whole process is so formal, so damn serious. No one enjoys these things. Either they’re losing a friend or don’t care whatsoever. They deserve something to remember. They all need a good laugh, though I’ve never been much of a king’s fool. If I think of something good, maybe they’ll remember me as more than the kid who damn near killed someone. I need something big, over the top, exaggerated. Even if I don’t believe in it.
“Rokkoh, what will you be doing in your first footsteps of adulthood?” her question comes with feigned interest.
“Not quite sure what I’ll do at first,” I answer with honesty. “But one day I am going to become a king. Whether by overthrowing a corrupt monarch or by discovering some long-lost lineage, I will have a crown.”
The ensuing silence is just about crippling. Their wide-eyed gawking, their gaping maws of shock and surprise, their perplexion… it doesn’t feel right. I expected laughter, applause, anything but the dreadful quiet. The Baroness’s incredulous glare in the corner of my eye is more fitting, at least for her.
I find Kym, Max, and Pinnow again. The twins wear little smirks while Pinnow lets his grin grow big and bright. Amused, they seem; welcome islands after a long journey at sea. They don’t care if I’m serious or not. They don’t care how ridiculous it sounds. They see the humor, the break from the mundane. Hell, maybe they even think it could be possible one day.
“Yeah!” Pinnow exclaims. “King Rokkoh!”
The three of them break into cheers, hands clapping hard and hollers ringing out amongst the quiet. The celebration infects a few others throughout the crowd, half-hearted and disjointed claps sounding here and there. With a sharp look from the Baroness, their clatter ends abrupt.
“How bold and ambitious,” she says through a closed smile, her piercing hazel eyes sneering at me.
Judgment and doubt glare bright in her condescension, a stark contrast to the support of my friends. Then again, why would I expect any different? It’s not as if my declaration would have wooed her or changed how she saw me. For my fellow orphans, they will likely forget with time. But for the Baroness, memories linger everlasting behind the hazels. Every new arrival to the Tower of Lost Children, every Departure Ceremony, every sin in between… all are eternal.
“It is time to say goodbye, children,” she addresses the crowd, stepping away from me. “We wish you, Rokkoh DiFilo, nothing but happiness and success as you venture into adulthood!”
The crowd offers more enthusiasm with their new round of applause, but many still understandably lack sincerity. I sling my long bag of clothes over my shoulder and give them one last look before stepping into the carriage. The bittersweet faces of Kym, Max, and Pinnow stick out amongst them all. Although the plan is to meet up with the twins upon their release from the Tower in a few months, it is likely that I will never see Pinnow ever again. While I am in his debt, I doubt the occasion will arise for me to pay him back. Then again, I am no Seer; the future is vastly unknown to me. Even the arrangement with Kym and Max is not guaranteed. Who knows what could happen within the coming months? Certainly not me.
My heart pangs at the thought of fate separating us forever, or even additional months. It would be so much easier, so much more pleasant if I could take them with me now. Or, at the very least, Kym. The world would be ours to take. Travel from place to place, offering our skills for coin, siphoning the excess of the rich, running wild and free. Kym and Rokkoh. To the ends of the earth, and onward.
I offer the three of them a faint smile, a little promise that everything will be alright and I will be fine. Pinnow waves a small hand, slow and sad. Max gives a curt nod. Kym, on the other hand, seems to take no solace in my simple gesture. Eyes glistening, she fights the coming waves. Always a fighter, sweet Kym. Those few months won’t pass quick enough.
Our eyes break as I toss my bag into the carriage. The ride to Allendar is set to be quiet; no cohorts will accompany me this time. Prime time to take a nap, I suppose. Taking hold of the doorway and stepping onto the little step, I say my last goodbyes in my head.
“Wait!” she exclaims.
Kym pushes through the crowd until they part for her. Ignoring the curious eyes of the others and the offended squint of the Baroness, she doesn’t stop until she is next to me. My hands release as I turn back to face her, my heart racing fervent. She looks up to me, dark eyes wide and screaming please and pleas. My tongue begs to let something simple and sweet escape, but my brain locks up. I stand before her, lost for words. My hands find hers, bringing a glint of brightness to her eyes and a curve to her mouth.
This is it. This has to be the moment. That ever-longed step into what life has to offer the two of us. That elusive chance to become more than what we are. That opportunity to end this past year’s game of unspoken feelings. If there was a time for it, no other day provided a clearer sign ever before. It would be so easy. Just to finally give in, let my hope prevail, set in motion the loom that binds our fates. To truly begin our story, to dive deep into the waters of what awaits us, to break the shackles of the Baroness’s so-called morality rules. To just lean in and…
Kym rips her fingers from mine after a short moment. My surprise and confusion shine in my eyes at the sudden shift, but her face does not change with the motion. Instead, one hand takes my waist while the other snakes up to the back of my neck. She pulls me in, our bodies meeting as she leans up onto the tips of her toes. Her eyes begin to close and her lips part ever so slightly as she brings my head down with gentle pressure. Out of instinct I didn’t know dwelled within me, I follow her lead; one hand taking her waist, the other settling into a soft caress of her cheek, my eyelids coming together as our lips approach each other.
The world falls away. All the worry about the future, all the sins of the past, all the eyes of the audience fade into the void. A warmth fills me, soothes my heartbeat, at her touch. We draw each other in closer, our bodies touching and our hands holding firm. The simple and sweet give and take leaves me wanting more. Our lips slow, linger, press again. Hungry, needy, addicted… The long-awaited relief comes strong and powerful, and it takes all our will to break away. Foreheads resting on each other’s, unbridled unabashed unashamed smiles spread wide and true on our faces. Kym’s hand on my side rises to meet the other around the back of my neck, and I let mine on her cheek fall to her waist to hold her there. Shaky yet happy breaths escape us as we lock eyes. I’ve never seen such a brightness in her before, such a radiant blissful beauty, such purity.
I want this moment to last forever. I want to live in this feeling with her for the rest of my life. This perfect sunshine between us, this glorious glee… it should be eternal. It should be like the air, weightless and easy and so satisfying. It should be necessary, ever-present and everlasting.
“I’ll see you in three months,” she whispers through her smile. The words bring clouds that overcast the sun, but my sky remains bright.
“I’ll see you in three months,” I repeat, mirroring her soft tone and grin.
Kym backs away, slow and hesitant, out of my grasp. I climb into the carriage and shut the door behind me. Peeking out the little window, she fades out of sight as the horses set off down the road. The inevitable silence seeps in, accompanied by the longing. Unbearable, almost, but I know it won’t last. One day, sooner than I know it, we’ll be together again. Her, me, and even Max. We’ll be able to live out our lives as we see fit.
Three months to go.
Tyler Gohde 
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